Friday, April 28, 2006

Goodbye Alice in Wonderland


Dear Mona,

Do something for me.
Download 'Goodbye Alice in Wonderland' by Jewel.
Listen to it...

You'll find your sister there.

Goodnight...and goodbye Alice in Wonderland...

Love,
Sona

"It was only a reflection
Of my lonely mind searching
For whats been missing in my life"

--Jewel

http://www.michaels-jewel.com/AUDIO/GoodbyeAliceInWonderland/Audiopages/AP_aliceinwonderland.html

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Wednesday, April 26, 2006

I Shall Believe















Come to me now
Lay your hands over me
Even if it's a lie
Say it will be alright
And I shall believe

Broken in two
And I know you're on to me
That I only come home
When I'm so all alone

But I do believe
That not everything is gonna be
The way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time
I try to make it right
It all comes down on me

Please say honestly
you won't give up on me
And I shall believe
And I shall believe

Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it's true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key

Never again would I turn away from you
I'm so heavy tonight
But your love is alright

And I do believe
That not everything is gonna be
The way you think it ought to be
It seems like every time
I try to make it right
It all comes down on me

Please say honestly
You won't give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe

And I shall believe

--Sheryl Crow

Click: I Shall Believe


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Monday, April 24, 2006





"She had an inside and an outside now, and she knew how not to mix them."

--Their Eyes Were Watching God

Friday, April 21, 2006

Interesting Day

Today was an interesting day. This morning I did a radio show for WORT. It was a full hour long interview. That was an interesting experience. One caller was very passionate about a local high school being called the 'crusaders' for some reason....lol, that'll entertain mona at least...and hey, that's what i'm here for.

Wednesday, April 19, 2006

There It Goes














you can be right
and I'll be real
honesty won't be a pain that you'll have to feel
cause I don't need your approval
to find my worth

I'm trapped inside of my own mind
afraid to open my eyes cause of what I'd find
and I don't want to live like this anymore

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning

there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
there it goes

does it scare you that I can
be something different than you
would it make you feel more comfortable if I wasn't
you can't control me
and you can't take away from me who I am

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning

there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back

you can't change me
you can't break me
there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back

have you ever felt
like your only comfort was your cage
you're not alone
I've felt the same as you
have you ever felt
like your secrets give you away
you're not alone
I've been there too

cause everyone is looking
and everyone is laughing
but I think
everyone feels the same
everybody wants to feel ok
everybody wants to
everybody wants to feel

there goes my pain
there goes my chains
did you see them falling
because this feeling
that has no meaning

there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back

cause I don't want it
I don't want it
you can't change me
you can't break me

there goes the world
off of my shoulders
there goes the world
off of my back
there it goes

--Lifehouse

Monday, April 17, 2006

Me


i love my friends, i have a tendency to care too much about people, if you wrong me, i'll probably forgive you, i see through people, i give too much, i'm overly idealistic, which often translates to utter stupidity and the complete inability to let go of what i hold dear, i think peanut butter and chocolate were made for each other, my name is sona if you're special, i'm newly IN LOVE with Lifehouse, i think mecca is a piece of heaven on earth, God is my air and writing, my breathing, i wish i could figure skate and play the violin, i can't stand macho apathetic men, i think smoking should be outlawed, i like people who admit they don't have it all figured out, there's almost nothing i wouldn't do for my sisters, i love to understand people that no one else does, i'm moved by rain, i think it takes strength to cry, i'm still hopeful, i strive for wisdom and insight, i'm overly emotional and intense, i value empathy, sincerity, humility, and honesty, i ask that you don't lie to me...and if i could...i'd be watching Niagara fall right now.

One

(sorry mona for not 'entertaining' you enough with my blog...but i love you though :) )


Is it getting better?
Or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you now?
You got someone to blame

You say
One love
One life
When it's one need
In the night
One love
We get to share it
Leaves you baby if you
Don't care for it

Did I disappoint you?
Or leave a bad taste in your mouth?
You act like you never had love
And you want me to go without

Well it's
Too late
Tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One

Have you come here for forgiveness?
Have you come to raise the dead?
Have you come here to play Jesus?
To the lepers in your head

Did I ask too much?
More than a lot.
You gave me nothing,
Now it's all I got

We're one
But we're not the same
Well we
Hurt each other
Then we do it again

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other
One
One

--U2


http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/4915848.stm


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Sunday, April 16, 2006

Shimmer












She calls me from the cold
Just when I was low,
feeling short of stable
And all that she intends
And all she keeps inside,
isn't on the label

She says she's ashamed
And she can take me for a while
And can I be a friend,
we'll forget the past
But maybe I'm not able
And I break at the bend

We're here and now,
but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world
is sure to fade
Away again

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise,
pink linen and white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterfliess,
reality escapes her

She says that love is for fools that fall behind
And I'm somewhere in between
I never really know
A killer from a savior
'Til I break at the bend

We're here and now,
but will we ever be again
'Cause I have found
All that shimmers in this world
is sure to fade away again

It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....
It's too far away for me to hold
It's too far away....

Guess I'll let it go


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Saturday, April 15, 2006

Unsettled Childhood=Genius

"Wade led a nomadic existence as a child. At the age of 5 he moved with his parents, who were active in their church, to Hawaii and later Hong Kong where they worked as missionaries. After four years in Asia, the family moved back to the U.S. - Oregon to be exact. Wade later moved again with his mother to California...

He spent most of his early days there alone in his room, pouring his heart out in poetry.... Having found some solace in music, he eventually began reconciling himself to his new circumstances and settled into his new home. This phase of his life ended, however, when his mother decided to relocate the family to Los Angeles.
"I didn't want to move at all," he attests. "I'd finally made all these friends, and Washington had been a really a comforting place for me "

"I don't have it all figured out," says Lifehouse frontman Jason Wade. "You learn so many things every day, and it's overwhelming sometimes trying to see how it all fits together. I'm starting to realize that each day is a different road and a different journey, and you don't have to have it all figured out; you don't have to have all the answers to everything right now."

***
catch your breath
hit the wall
scream out loud
as you start to crawl
back in your cage
the only place
where they will
leave you alone
cause the weak
will seek the weaker
till they've broken them

could you get it back again
would it be the same fulfillment
to their lack of strength at your expense
left you with no defense
they tore it down
and I have felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same

locked inside
the only place where you feel sheltered
where you feel safe
you lost yourself
in your search to find
something else to hide behind

cause the fearful always preyed
upon your confidence
didn't they see the consequence
they pushed you around
the arrogant build kingdoms
made of the different ones
breaking them till they've become
just another crown
and I have felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same

refuse to feel anything at all
refuse to slip
refuse to fall
can't be weak
can't stand still
watch your back
cause no one will
you don't know why they had to go this far
traded your worth for these scars
for your only company
and don't believe the lies that they have told to you
not one word was true
you're alright
you're alright
you're alright
and I have felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same as you
I've felt the same

--Jason Wade (Lifehouse)


have you ever felt
like your only comfort was your cage
you're not alone
I've felt the same as you
have you ever felt
like your secrets give you away
you're not alone
I've been there too
cause everyone is looking
and everyone is laughing
but I think everyone feels the same
everybody wants to feel okay
everybody wants to
everybody wants to feel

-- Jason Wade

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Take Me Away

no WONDER he's so cool: "He spent most of his early days there alone in his room, pouring his heart out in poetry."
...

"This record deals a lot with self-discovery and breaking out of whatever your parents or your boss or whoever thinks you should be", says Jason of No Name Face. "It's about trying to find out for yourself who you're supposed to be - your purpose, your destiny in the world."

Take Me Away (Lifehouse): "This is a spiritual song I wrote after September 11th. It's a love song. It's about wanting to escape from the condition of the world right now. "
--Jason Wade
http://music.yahoo.com/video/default.asp?vid=2157398


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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Away











i'm going away for a while.
i may or may not come back.

Thursday, April 06, 2006



"I'm looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth and I'm trying to identify the voices in my head. God which one's you? Let me feel one more time what it feels like to feel alive, And break these calluses off of me, One more time."

--Lifehouse

We go through our whole live searching for moments.
A moment to be moved.
A moment to feel alive.
And to see clearly...to understand.

I realize that one source of life for me is not only to understand another person...but to feel them...
or even to feel what it is to be myself.
To become aware...keenly...of some Reality or Truth or insight.
To understand.
To know.
To feel.
There's this kid at my job. He's half Peurto Rican, half white. He's in 8th grade. When we first met with his parents everyone was complaining about his behavior. He was one of those kids who was always getting into trouble.

I'm a supervisor, but I offered to work with him personally. See, I saw through him. And I was right...completely right. He wears that tough guise on the outside, but on the inside he's actually the sweetest, most sensitive, intelligent and mature kid I've ever known. Honestly, the kid is literally one of the most amazing people I have ever met...and I don't say that about many people.

He wasn't doing well in school. At first he came off as not caring at all; he gave the impression of being completely apathetic in general. But the truth was the kid can't sleep. He can't sleep at night because he can't stop thinking and worrying about school and everything else. He cares. He cares too much. And his 'apathy' was a defense mechanism.

Since connecting with him, he's been completely different. It's like there's a calm inside him now...that's the best way I can describe it. He does his work, he cares about it. He's invested, involved. It's like he was away. And now he's back. And he's okay inside. He's calm. He even said that his relationships with other people in his life are better.

I don't think it's because of anything I did. The truth is, I don't even know what it was. I just believed in him and I gave him that trust, when no one else did. I listened to him and I understood. Most of all, I cared. I didn't believe he was a bad kid. I saw him for what he really was, and that's what he became.

He told me today about this dream he had. He said he was an older man in the dream and he was very rich. And he could hear someone saying to him 'it's time'. And when he looked it was these two men holding a gun, and handing him one. He knew what they meant, and he knew what he had to do. They wanted him to take the gun and shoot a man who was standing in the corner. He stood up and realized that he had to do it because otherwise they would kill him. So he shot the man...and after shooting him, he realized that the man he had just shot was himself.

What amazed me even more than the depth of the dream, was his understanding of it.

I asked him what he thought it meant and he said: "Sometimes the things that we think are good for us (money)...turn out to be bad for us. And we chase things like money, thinking that they'll make us happy, but we don't realize that we're actually killing ourselves. "

Wednesday, April 05, 2006

Storm






I love how Lifehouse sings about God (albeit a personified version):

"How long have I been in this storm
so overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head

if I could just see you
everything will be alright
if I'd see You the storminess will turn to light
and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and everything will be alright

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
so why am I 10 feet under and upside down
barely surviving has become my purpose
cause I'm so used to living underneath the surface
if I could just see you everything will be alright
if I see you the storminess will turn to light

and I will walk on water
and you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
and I will walk on water
you will catch me if I fall
and I will get lost into your eyes
and everything will be alright
I know everything is alright
everything's alright "

--Lifehouse

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

My Twin

I met my twin the other day...that was really nice. It was quite comforting to realize that I wasn't the only one...and that there were other souls on this earth as 'undetached' as I am.

"And you can't fight the tears that ain't comin'...
or the moment of truth in your lies.
When everything feels like the movies...
yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,
'cause I don't think that they'd understand.
When everything's made to be broken...

I just want you to know who I am."

--Goo Goo Dolls

They Came With Thorns















"For millions of years flowers have been producing thorns. For millions of years sheep have been eating them all the same. And it's not serious, trying to understand why flowers go to such trouble produce thorns that are good for nothing?

It's not important, the war between the sheep and the flowers?...

Suppose I happen to know a unique flower, one that exists nowhere in the world except on my planet, one that a little sheep can wipe out in a single bite one morning, just like that, even without realizing what he's doing.

That isn't important?"

--The Little Prince

Monday, April 03, 2006

Don't Let Yourself Go


















"When the day is long
and the night...
and the night is yours alone...
When you’re sure you’ve had enough
of this life...
Hang on.
Don’t let yourself go...
'cause everybody cries.
Everybody hurts...
sometimes."

--REM












"Rest your head,
you worry too much.
It's going to be alright.
When times get rough,
you can fall back on us.
Don't give up.
Please don't give up."

--Peter Gabriel