A Big Fat Lie

"Can you see? Can you see I am no longer scared? I am strong now. I see clearly now...what's true and what's false."
--The Joy Luck Club

Thats a complete lie, by the way. I know I'm stupid and blind, just like we all are...

"It's a lie. It's a bunch of sad strangers photographed beautifully, and... all the glittering assholes who appreciate art say it's beautiful 'cause that's what they wanna see. But the people in the photos are sad, and alone... But the pictures make the world seem beautiful, so... the exhibition is reassuring which makes it a lie, and everyone loves a big fat lie."
--Closer

Sympathy

Stranger than your sympathy
And this is my apology
I killed myself from the inside out
And all my fears have pushed you out
And I wished for things that I don’t need
(all I wanted)
And what I chased won’t set me free
(all I wanted)
And I get scared but I’m not crawlin’ on my knees
Oh, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Everything’s all wrong, yeah
Where the hell did I think I was?
And stranger than your sympathy
Take these things, so I don’t feel
I’m killing myself from the inside out
And now my head’s been filled with doubt
We’re taught to lead the life you choose
(all I wanted)
You know your love’s run out on you
(all I wanted)
And you can’t see when all your dreams aren’t coming true
Oh, yeah
It’s easy to forget, yeah
When you choke on the regrets, yeah
Who the hell did I think I was?
And stranger than your sympathy
And all these thoughts you stole from me
And I’m not sure where I belong
And no where’s home and no more wrong
And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was
And I wouldn’t be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me
Mmm, yeah
Stranger than your sympathy
Stranger than your sympathy

Far Beyond This Life

The light from the window is fading
You turn on the night
The sound from the avenue's calling you
Open your eyes

And when you find
You're spending your time
Wanting for words
But never speak
You tell yourself
That the things you need come slow
But inside you just don't know

My, my, my
Let your bright light shine
Let your words live on
Far beyond this life
Beyond this life

Hold on to anything
Everything's over and done
Has the fear taken over you
Tell me
Is that what you want
To make up your life

--Rob Thomas

If Sought

"What from one place doth fall is with the tide to another brought. For there is nothing lost but may be found...if sought."
--Sense and Sensibility

"The fire is gone now, and I'm horribly cold. I really ought to drag myself outside but then there would be the sun. I'm afraid I waste the light on the paintings and on writing these words..."
-- The English Patient

Rain

Let it rain on me.
I'll look up with my eyes closed,
and I'll let it rain all over me.
I don't want to be strong.
I just want to let it rain.
I'm tired.

It used to be so quiet here.
No. The silence is deafening.
Where have all the people gone?
I know now.
I know now.
I see.

It's raining too hard now.
I'm too tired.
Let it rain again.
Let it.
I'm tired.
I'm too tired to hide my pride.
Let it rain, who am i to stop it?
Who am I at all?

Maybe if I turned, I could see it.
Maybe it's not real.
No. It's just me.
Again.
Again.
It's alright.
I'm just tired.


"If a wound hath touched you, be sure a similar wound hath touched the others. Such days (of varying fortunes) We give to men and men by turns" (Quran 3:140 ).

Now Comes The Night

This song is so beautifully sad.

I think it's about death...

"No. Actually its about loving someone all of their life. Not all of us have such luxury. "
--Anonymous


When the hour is upon us
And our beauty surely gone
No you will not be forgotten
No you will not be alone

And when the day has all but ended
And our echo starts to fade
No you will not be alone then
And you will not be afraid
No you will not be afraid

When the fog has finally lifted
From my cold and tired brow
No I will not leave you crying
And I will not let you down
No I will not let you down
I will not let you down

Now comes the night
Feel it fading away
And the soul underneath
Is it all that remains

So just slide over here
Leave your fear in the fray
Let us hold to each other
Till the end of our days

--Rob Thomas

Angel

Spend all your time waiting
For that second chance
For a break that would make it okay
There's always some reason
To feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
Oh beautiful release
Memory seeps from my veins


Let me be empty
And weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

So tired of the straight line
And everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
And the storm keeps on twisting
You keep on building the lie
That you make up for all that you lack

It don't make no difference
Escape one last time
It's easier to believe in this sweet madness
oh this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees

In the arms of an angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort there

You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here

Kindness

Kindness speaks for itself.

"Is there any Reward for Good - other than Good?" (Quran 55:60)

The Messenger of God (may peace be upon him) said: "The most virtuous behavior is to engage those who sever relations, to give to those who withhold from you, and to forgive those who wrong you"

The Messenger of God, upon whom be peace, said: "A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry."

The Prophet (peace and blessings upon him) said: “Show mercy, so that you will be shown mercy.”

Untitled

Sort of a strange story. I heard this song on a cartoon of some sort and I really liked the sound. Well I looked it up and NO WONDER I liked it...It was by Goo Goo Dolls. I also found the lyrics:

I am a question to the world
Not an answer to be heard
Or a moment
That's held in your arms
And what do you think you'd ever say?
I won't listen anyway

You don't know me
And I'll never be what you want me to be
And what do you think you'd understand?
I'm a boy, no, I'm a man
You can't take me
And throw me away
And how can you learn what's never shown?
Yeah, you stand here on your own
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

And I want a moment to be real
Wanna touch things I don't feel
Wanna hold on and feel I belong
And how can the world want me to change?
They're the ones that stay the same
They don't know me
Cause I'm not here

And you see the things they never see
All you wanted I could be
Now you know me
And I'm not afraid
And I want to tell you who I am
Can you help me be a man?
They can't break me
As long as I know who I am

They can't tell me who to be
Cause I'm not what they see
Yeah, the world is still sleepin
while I keep on dreaming for me
And their words are just whispers and lies
that I'll never believe

I'm the one now
Cause I'm still here
I'm the one
Cause I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here
I'm still here

-Goo Goo Dolls

Seasonless

"Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears."

--Khalil Gibran

Breathe

2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him,
And winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors,
so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to critisize,
hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason

'Cause you can't jump the track,
we're like cars on a cable
and life's like an hourglass,
glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button girl,
So cradle your head in your hands
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

May he turn 21 on the base at Fort Bliss
Just today he sat down to the flask in his fist,
Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year.
Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while,
But my God it's so beautiful when the boy smiles,
Wanna hold him, maybe I'll just sing about it.

Cause you can't jump the track,
we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass,
glued to the table.
No one can find the rewind button boys,
So cradle your head in your hands,
And breathe, just breathe,
Woah breathe, just breathe

There's a light at each end of this tunnel, you shout
But you're just as far in as you'll ever be out
These mistakes you've made,
you'll just make them again
If you only try turning around.

2 AM and I'm still awake, writing a song
If I get it all down on paper,
its no longer inside of me,
threatening the life they belong to
And i feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd
Cause these words are my diary, screaming out loud
And I know that you'll use them however you want to

Cause you can't jump the track,
we're like cars on a cable,
And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table
No one can find the rewind button now
Sing it if you understand.
and breathe, just breathe
woah breathe, just breathe,
oh breathe, just breathe.

Neither

Sometimes you stand so long at a crossroads trying to decide which way to go, that you don't realize your path lies somewhere else entirely.

"My story starts at sea... a perilous voyage to an unknown land... a shipwreck... the wild waters roar and heave... the brave vessel is dashed all to pieces, and all the helpless souls within her drowned... all save one... a lady... whose soul is greater than the ocean... and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace... not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore."

--Shakespeare in Love

A Letter

Growing up, you read me the Ugly Duckling. And for years I believed that was me. I am a woman—that ugly duckling among men. For so long you taught me I was nothing more than a bad copy of the standard.

I couldn’t run as fast or lift as much. I didn’t make the same money and I cried too often. I grew up in a man’s world where I didn’t belong.

And when I couldn’t be him, I wanted only to please him. I put on your make-up and wore your short skirts. I gave my life, my body, my dignity, for the cause of being pretty. I knew that no matter what I did, I was worthy only to the degree that I could please and be beautiful for my master. And so I spent my life on the cover of Cosmo and gave my body for you to sell.

I was a slave, but you taught me I was free. I was your object, but you swore it was success. You taught me that my purpose in life was to be on display, to attract, and be beautiful for men. You had me believe that my body was created to market your cars. And you raised me to think I was an ugly duckling.

But you lied.

Islam tells me, I’m a swan. I’m different—it’s meant to be that way. And my body, my soul, was created for something more. God says in the Quran: ‘O mankind, We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know one another (not that you may despise each other). Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the one who is most righteous” (Quran 49:13).

So I am honored. But it is not by my relationship to men. My value as a woman is not measured by the size of my waist or the number of men who like me. My worth as a human being is measured on a higher scale: a scale of righteousness and piety. And my purpose in life—despite what the fashion magazines say—is something more sublime than just looking good for men.

And so God tells me to cover myself, to hide my beauty and to tell the world that I’m not here to please men with my body; I’m here to please God. God elevates the dignity of a woman’s body by commanding that it be respected and covered, shown only to the deserving—only to the man I marry.

So to those who wish to ‘liberate’ me, I have only one thing to say: Thanks, but no thanks.
I’m not here to be on display. And my body is not for public consumption. I will not be reduced to an object, or a pair of legs to sell shoes. I’m a soul, a mind, a servant of God. My worth is defined by the beauty of my soul, my heart, my moral character. So, I won’t worship your beauty standards, and I don’t submit to your fashion sense. My submission is to something higher.

With my veil I put my faith on display—rather than my beauty. My value as a human is defined by my relationship with God, not by my looks. So I cover the irrelevant. And when you look at me, you don’t see a body. You view me only for what I am: a servant of my Creator. So you see, as a Muslim woman, I’ve been liberated from a silent kind of bondage. I don’t answer to the slaves of God on earth. I answer to their King.

Misinformed

For the highly misinformed individuals who think I'm going to blow myself up, I ask two things:

1. PLEASE, educate yourself about Islam, a religion that provides an inner peace that is unworldly. Here is a good place to start: http://www.themodernreligion.com/index2.html

2. Turn off Fox News. It is poisoning your mind.

Finally

Ok, I'm excited. Now I finally have an online journal. Let's begin.
My name is Yasmin. And I was born January 12, 2006. This is me in front of Haram of Mecca. It was a dream. And now I've awaken to a new life.
Before I left for Mecca, I was the walking dead. Inside, I'm not dead anymore. For the first time I can remember in soo long...I am alive!
8:24 O ye who believe! give your response to Allah and His Messenger, when He calleth you to that which will give you life; and know that Allah cometh in between a man and his heart, and that it is He to Whom ye shall (all) be gathered.